It Was Never About the Bear

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A while ago, the TikTok community was hit with a viral question that has since turned into a literal social case in pretty much all of the Western world:

Would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man? 

Though it might seem, at first, like a very easy choice, the app users have sparked controversial discussions with their unexpected answers. Is this result proof of the complexity of our social situation or is it proof of users’ inability to stop and question more on the actual problem? Probably both. 

What everyone seems to be missing is that the point was never choosing the bear or the man. The point is that the question demonstrates that male and female users take very different aspects in consideration before making a choice—a choice that seems so obvious, yet here we are discussing it. 

Though not impossible, the odds of being killed by a bear are much less than the odds of being killed by a man (or even a woman, for what’s worth)—everybody knows it, but the (female) online users have pointed out a few things that should worry us. They may be radical, but they have a point. 

The odds of being killed by a bear are so slim because bears, regardless of what you may think, aren’t ferocious creatures by nature and are usually scared of big noises and humans. They don’t like attacking us unless they have a reason to, and that reason is usually to defend they’re little bears or if they feel threatened and can’t run away. Coming across a bear in the woods already isn’t very common, coming across a mama bear is even more uncommon. You must be very unlucky.

Us, humans, on the other hand we kill and hurt for thousands of reasons, including the creepiest of all: because it gives us pleasure. We kill for jealousy, anger, rejection or simply because we want to or need to. Therefore, one may say (as they have) “at least I know a bear kills for that one reason”. And they would, again, have a point. A point that becomes increasingly more concerning when we’re reminded that bears have no morale. Nothing like we do. They don’t know that killing a living being is socially unaccepted. They don’t know that it’s wrong, because they have no sense of right and wrong. We do (or should). Men do (or should), which means that their actions are deliberate. 

Another very valid point that came out of the discussion is that we focused so much on being murdered but we forgot that it isn’t the only option, and it’s probably not the first option women thought about. Not with the man, in particular. In the proposed scenario, the bear might attack us, kill us or “just” harm us. As for men…we all know what humans are capable of. All humans, yes, but statistically speaking, especially for the purpose of this discussion, men. Assault, battery, rape, torture. Terrible things that a bear couldn’t and wouldn’t do, especially not out of pleasure.

But not all men are horrible people. 

The comment sections are filled with these three words. Words that come out every single time women talk about these kinds of topics, those that (usually) see us as the victims and men as the perpetrators. Of course not all men. As a matter of fact, thankfully, just a minority of the male population commits crimes. 

But all women have stories to tell, and they’re never nice. 

That is also true. Not all men are bad men but almost all women have bad stories to tell about them. Now, even considering that some of these stories might be exaggerated or even made up, the point stays: there is a social problem. Women (generally) aren’t more susceptible nowadays, we’re just sick of it. We’re sick of having to think twice before going out, taking an Uber or a taxi, going out in the dark, sending our daughters to friends or relatives’ houses or even daycare… sick of it. And we’re right. 

Could the ongoing situation have influenced our judgement of men? Most likely, but if you were in our shoes, you’d be too. 

Still, the point of the infamous question was never to give an answer. Not a real one, at least, because, all odds considered, no one in their right mind would REALLY prefer the bear. The point is that women thought about all of these points and even more before answering. Men didn’t. If you asked any man if he’d rather spend a night in the woods alone with a bear or a woman, none of them would stop to think of how many men are killed or raped by women (and many unfortunately are). Am I wrong? 

That’s because practically no man sees a woman as a menace and this is a fact. That’s it. That’s the point. A point so many people seem to have missed because they were too busy attacking each other (and I’m talking about all sexes and genders, none excluded). Seeing just a question mark and not what it represents. Too many saw the bear or the man and not the sociological issue they masked. 

Once again, we’ve tried to solve a problem by creating more problems.

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